flea market on last saturdae wasnt a success. damn failure. onli manage to earn 50bucks not deducting the rental & transport. damn. took a cab there but was abit late. i think i was the last few to set up the stall. and worst is my stall is right at the far end corner. where im block by almost everione. i tink it is bcos i onli made the payment at the last min as im not able to go down and asked alfred to make the payment for me. damn hot that dae! was praying it wun rain. it didnt. but it's damn hot. and now ive 2 colours on my arm. right arm onli somemore. because the sun is shining from the right side and my left side is still under the shade =x

have been swinging my mood for the past 2 weeks or so. ke lian de hubby keep kanna torture by me. being mentally torture by my behaviour and nonesenses. i dun realli remember how mani times we quarrel. and for myself. on the verge of giving up everiting. sometimes i reali feel like jus jumping down or swollowing everiting down and jus leave everiting there. sigh. i guess this is life huh.

nw everiting between me and hubby is getting better and hopefully for good. i realli dun wan to go thru all this animore. i know hubby love me. but, it's hard. i can try to forgive, but not forget. how to forget? im getting old. my body aint tat gd animore. there's a few problem. but shall we look into it? or isit jus me being too sensitive over everi lil ting? im onli remembering tings tat happen 1-2 yrs ago. and for now, it's all short term memory. jus like those ppl who have lao ren chi da like tat. dey cannt remember ppl from recent, but ppl from long long ago.

i realli realli love my hubby and dun wish to lose him. but im out of control sometimes and alwaes pushing him awae. i wan to try. to try to control myself. i dun wan to lose control myself ever again and causes me to regret in the future. i waited for him for more then 10hrs at his void deck with just 1 bottle of drink and no food. no anger, jus staring at the main entrance seeing whether he's back. im constantly laughin and smiling. bcos i dun wanna cry. ive enuff of crying. for the past 2 weeks or so. my eyes is going to spoil liaos lar. idiot me.