♥ 2nd Pregnancy
 Scans & Check up
Tummy growth thru the pregnancy!
Birth Story
serious mood swing. happy at 1 min, angry at 1 min, hopeless at 1 min & crying the next. damn ive receive his letter. and it's onli confusing myself even more. all the while i wish, i can b wif him. but somehw, i hate him. i love & hate him. bcos whenever i tink of the bad stuff, i jus feel so frighten. i dun feel secure. but i love him. i can do aniting for him, gif up aniting for him. im a dumb ass =x i should sort out my mind this few daes. wad isit tha i realli wan? i know nuts abt wad i wan. passing daes like that. work, home, sleep. work, home, sleep. wad else? finally met up wif avril, pearlene & yulian yesterdae. also met up wif zhu after not seein her for more then 1 week :) misses misses. i wan laksa~
1st thing first ive got too many stuff to clear stuff that i cant or dun wear at all from my previous spree held all BN! pls check out the following webbie :) http://www.singaporebrides.com/forumboard/messages/194/877764.html?1230209525 boring holiday christmas eve went to qi house wif weiling did corn flakes cookies ended up experimenting wif the chocolate LOL none of us know how to do it esp for me when ive never done ani cookies before jus helped out and ended so tired went home and sleep thru my christmas eve by the time i woke up it's already 8 in the morning on christmas watch youtube, surf the net and went back to sleep again woke up again, same ting and decide to go buy some food after eating, same ting and then too tired and went to nap pratically my whole day is jus the same ting eat, sleep, surf net, watch youtube all the way till night time now back to work im so damn tired! i wan to sleep somemore, can i? im in no mood to work! 1 more week to the end of 2008 yeah yeah! :D 18months and it'll be 2o1o june
he's supposed to ORD in 2o1o june
but by den he is jus release and still haf to continue his NS
why isit that sometimes ppl jus dun learn?
and it's gonna take 2-3 weeks for the letters to be delivered
damn gd sia
and i dun tink the previous letters tat ive written to him
will be delivered to him
since after 3 weeks in QRP, he's been transferred out
so well, where will all those letters go to?
trash? fcuking hell
20th is winnie's birthday and have a gathering dinner at new york new york on yesterday. have much fun crapping and laughing. really enjoyed myself. after dinner bought movie tix to watch Ip Man with them. the show was nice but abit bloody. LOL. by the time i reach home and do some stuff is already after 12am. and woke up late todat :( but i do have a good sleep :) i also removed my hair extension! :D
yesterday after work went to ntuc to buy some veggie. decide to go home and fry some xiao bai cai. asked my colleague how to fry it and also went online to search. wanted to use oyster sauce and thought i haf it at home, end up dun haf! so can only stir-fried. and ended up, my garlic is burnt and my veggie is not cooked enuff. damn idiot can. im really a failure at cooking. each time i fail, i take a long time to cook again. really really need to go and get a cook book. starting from simple dishes. isit bcos i dun haf the gift to cook? oh no, next time my hubby and baby is gonna starve to death. LOL
i feel like cooking everi nw and then. but i can cook nuts. so everi dae haf been going home to cook plain porridge and fried eggs, and eat wif wadever left over or stuff tat i can buy. i wan to learn how to cook! but the aftermaths realli left me not tat enthu into wantin to cook animore. LOL. i suddenly feel like cooking lei cha lor. it's not easi to cook but i wan to eat so i wan to cook! alot of hakka dish that i feel like cooking and eatin suddenly. should go to bookshop and look out whether there's any hakka recipe book. :D everi night i dun haf a proper sleep. i jus cant sleep! i can lie on my bed and close my eyes but i wun b asleep till hrs later. it's damn torturing. im tired and i jus wan to sleep. but why when i lie down on my bed, i feel tat im full of energy. damn. i suddenly feel like drinking, times when i go drink till drunk. fun~ but i dun haf much to do that in the past. and finally when i thought im single and free, i can do so, but no no. damn idiot and unfair sia! i cant do tat again, and for long. sigh. im a good girl. but why is heaven doing this to me huh? cannot at least let me enjoy for tat 1 month bfore lettin me know i cant? stupid me =x
he is being sentenced to RTC with min 18months and max 30months sentence. hopefully he will learn and mature over this period and guai guai serve his term and he will be out in 18months. was surprised when his lawyer called me. saeing tat he had asked him to pass the message to me. he mus haf received my letters. but from nw on, ive nothin much to write to him. bcos i dun wan to write how much i miss him, i dun wan to write how much i love him. instead, each and everitime, my letter are more of a fren fren attitude, till i can no longer pretend. asking him to buck up, tat hope he will be a better man. guess i can onli wait for his letter. for, there's no information when u search online for RTC, no contact, no address - nothing. planning for holidays on the 17th Jan to Hoi An, somewhere in Vietnam. This will be my last trip before long. sigh. i hope i will enjoy myself and make myself relax.
this time not bcos of pride. bcos of guys. LOL. even funnier. x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x i would be lying if i say i dun miss him. i would be lying if i sae i dun love him animore. i miss him so much that everinight i dream of him coming back. everinight i cry when i tink of him. i wish to haf someone to be wif me too. i wish there's someone for me to talk to. i wish there's someone who will hug me and tell me that there's nothing to worriew abt, that he will b there for me. i dun lyk this feelin. he haf been in my life for the past 2 yr plus and yet he is totally out of my life. i will not get to see him for the last time, not get to hug him for the last time, not kissin him goodbye for the last time. no matter wad he had done to me in the past, no matter how he make used of me in the past, no matter how much other ppl cristised him in the past, i alwaes stood by him, i alwaes stand up for him. i pretend to be strong, pretend to be okie. i mus have done it very well, bcos nobody suspect aniting. i wish ive him by my side now. at least, he will wipe away my tears and tell me everything gonna be alright. at least he's gonna hug me tight and tell me everiting gonna be okie. at least he will tell me, he will face everiting together wif me and not jus me alone facing everiting.
feeling damn sick todae. fridae MC till yesterdae. MC supposed to end on thursdae but decide to come back earli since at home also nothin to do and im not being paid when im having my MC bcos ive alreadi finish my sick leave benefit. not good de. tried to sleep around 1230am yesterdae but till 1am+ still cant sleep. dun even remember how i fall asleep. onli remember i toss and turn every few mins till i manage to fall asleep. last few daes when im on MC i dun feel sick at all, yet when i come back to work im feelin damn sick. bully la~ rest at home all the wae till mondae then go to malaysia. zhu messaged me the previous day say she around 12pm will meet me at kranji. 11am plus jiu ready liaos wan to go out bcos around 11am zhu sae tat after her bro okies liaos jiu going off le. who knows, 1130am then message me sae dey on bus to AMK. sian abit liaos. then i nua watch show online till 1220 like that then go out. they reach kranji around 1230pm and she call me know tat i haven even on train then kb me -.- then i sae her back that she supposed to meet me 12pm de lor. wahahhas. after tat jiu take bus in, no traffic, alreadi guess dao liaos. then went city square, eat and shop. i onli spend 25bucks. at first change 50bucks, scare no enuff. who knows in the end not enuff de is dey 2 not me, still change from me 25bucks. so i onli spend 25bucks. i li hai. hees. i onli eat, never buy aniting. around 6plus go eat liaos jiu go back. damn lots of ppl, anihow anihow get onto 1 bus go to singapore custom and then walk outside to woodlands road take bus. veri fast jiu reach home. wanted to sleep after reach home, but cant sleep again =x i wan kambing soup~ bully. never open when i went in. i wan bonus also!! still duno got bonus or not. sian :(
nw sittin in office but is on MC. wanted to speak to jackson abt important matters. even call him to ask whether he will be in office today he say yes. asked whether is first ting in the morning he will b here, he sae yes. and nw, it's 9am+ and he's still not here! :( he is a big bully sia. den dun dare call him scare he in meetin or busy. sigh. im pathetic lor. then nw use computer machiam at lan like that. yesterday emergency again, same ting happen. go see doc again. the previous clinic that i went to close at 6pm and emergency happen just 10mins before 6pm. source for other clinic. call zhu and then took train down to amk again. 1st clinic reject me saying that there's too many patient. dun haf appt dey cant take. ask me to go hospital! then nevermind lor, went 2nd clinic. x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x that was typed on 5th dec. halfwae jackson came so i save as draft and after talkin jiu came home. told him everiting and glad tat he's encouraging and respect my decision. but no pay increament :( duno whether got bonus or not lehs. 18 is the date we're going to get our pay + bonus, but till nw still no information on our bonus. pls pls, there mus haf bonus. im damn poor. sis sae it's okie for me to go overseas next yr during my bdae as long as i come back befoe 17feb, 100th of my mum's death. tempted to go. but there's nobodi to go wif me, so tink jus haf to forget about tat. mondae going malaysia wif zhu and his brother. excited! so long since i last went malaysia. kambing soup, im coming~
im tired~ have not been getting my beauty sleep for a long long time! somemore everyday wake up damn earli. sometimes 630, sometimes 645. and reach home earlier then before. after work go home liaos wan to sleep but cant sleep, torture. meet zhu on mondae to watch her show. didnt even know wad is the show abt lor. jus bored and nth to do, then she sae wan watch the show den jiu sae pei her watch. book tix online at bugis. after work wanted to go home bcos im wearing tat stupid specs and look damn ugly. but realise tat i dun haf the time alreadi. so went straight to meet her. took train to city hall to meet her bcos she at aldephi. then go to funan to eat pasta bcos few hrs before she keep saeing tat she wan eat pasta, till i feel like eating pasta. after eating abit jiu dun feel like eating. too full. and end up she help me to finish. she realli can eat lor! not like me. i duno isit my mentally problem or realli i cant finish, i cant seems to finish any meal. alwaes haf at least a few spoon left. after eating still veri earli so walk walk awhile then take bus to bugis. wen to her bridal shop to take my clothing and went back to collect movie tix. go upstairs to buy some stuff and go to kinokuniya awhile. suddenly time pass so fast and 10mins to start of the movie liaos. bought popcorns then go watch movie. the show nt bad lar, quite funni lor. i tink onli me and zhu and the row behind us laughing. didnt seems to hear other ppl laughin lehs. tat zhu damn disgusting lor, so damn lazy to use hand to eat popcorn, keep sticking the mouth and tongue into the popcorn container to eat. after tat walk walk awhile, go bugis street see got ting to buy not. sadly, seems like dey no appeal liaos. so walk back and then decide to go pray so walk back again. zhu finish praying liaos then we walk back sit outside long john. talk cock awhile, nua, she da bao den jiu go home liaos. took cab home again! damn exp lor. everitime from bugis back to my house abt 18bucks. broke. todae is my sis graduation dae. at pan pacific, 630. so i can still go home after work nua abit then go out. since got car, dun need so rush. hees. tomorrow meeting zhu again. do wad lehs? i also duno wor. then mondae meeting her again! feel like going to haf my kambing soup~~
| 
