im flying off tomorrow~ not feelin excited or antiing. in fact i did tink of jus MIA for this trip. meaning dun turn up for the trip. but i feel bad lar. bcos is i say i wanna go for tis holidae. and im not forkin out a cent for it. so.. still haf to go for the trip liaos and it's an earli mornin flight. haf to wake up damn earli to bath & everiting and cab down. exp lehs. haf to cab down.

didnt do aniting abt my trip till jus nw. drag myself to lot1 to change money. change total of 100SGD onli. 80bucks of USD and 20 vietnam dong. dun tink im gonna spend much except to get back some stuff for company. dey are gonna look out for me veri soon~ wahahhas.

ahem. someting to officially announce. im alreadi 12 weeks pregnant. and no, my family doesn know yet. pls, if ani of my cousins or whoever is readin, dun let ur family members, my relatives know. bcos i duno how well my dad is gonna accept it. ive alreadi written a 2 page long letter in chinese for him. to let him know of my pregnancy. i found out my pregnancy onli after mami passed awae. after me and him haf broken up. hence im in a dilemia on how i should handle all this stuff. but im firm to gif birth to this child. not bcos it's his child. but bcos it's my child. a child i dun wish to lose. i dun wan to regret my decision. dun wish to b like the past animore. i will face up to everiting that's gonna happen, tat will happen in my life.

i will put the letter for my daddy for him tomorrow before i left the home for the airport. guess giving him abt 4 daes to talk to my sister and tink thru in his mind before talking to me will be best. ive also told him my feelins and thoughts on this and i guess should alreadi let him know my decision is firm. i jus wish to haf his support.

ive realli tink thru it this time. 7 weeks for me to realli tink thru before announcing it to my family members. this baby came at a wrong yet correct time. i knew tat if mami were to leave me & so do hubby, i will never b able to come to terms. i fear tat i will fall back into depression again. hence i kept on clinging. im afraid i will waste myself awae after losing both of them. yet this child came by and gaf me the energy to live my life again. it's not gonna b easi. it's gonne b tough. without him, without my mum. tis baby came at a wrong time bcos my mum jus pass awae and it's abit hard for me to tell them and let them accept me. it's like dey haf to dealt wif a blow after another. i know im disappointing my dad tis time more then the previous. bcos he thought tat ive learn my lesson. well.. we shall know when i come back on mondae..