finally i uploaded the pictures & videos of baby darius. all these pictures & videos took up the whole space of my camera. it's the 1st time in my life that ive taken so pictures & videos till there's no space left =x

havent really been writing to hubby nor have been missing him for the past 2 weeks or so. maybe it's because i'm still trying to get use to juggling between work & baby darius. maybe it's because i'm too busy to think of other thing except for work & baby darius. or maybe, it's just plainly, i can't be bothered to anymore?

what really happen is this. i write to hubby & told him that i feel like converting to part time in my current job so that i can spend more time with baby darius. afterall, which mummy would like to miss out the growth of their child? it's once in a life time, you can't rewind. and if i can afford to work just part time, why not? just that i can't spend on unnecessary stuffs, i can't buy things that i want anymore. i do not mind to give up all this in exchange to watch baby darius grow.

however he replied saying that if i were to convert to part time, what would happen to my benefits in the company? this wasn't the thing that upset me. it's what he wrote next upset me. he said that he would like to study in the future. and that after his NS, he would like to work part-time so that he can continue his studies. and he said it's so that he can give me and baby darius a better future. next, he mention that he wanted to have no.2 and doesn't want the gap between baby darius & his sibling to be too far apart because he and his brother have a gap of 6yrs and he find it too far. so i reckon that he meant within 2-3yrs?

the thing that i'm pissed about is, he is very selfish. i want to convert to part time, cannot. why? because of my benefits. and yet, he want to work part time so that he can study?! still want no.2 somemore. let's see, after he come out he still have 18months of NS to do. when he come out, bay darius is already 1yr old. so another 18months meant that baby darius will be 2.5yrs old. and i'm actually fair enough. i told him before if he's in NS, i do not need him to contribute anything. but yet, he's telling me that he would want to get a 2A bike license & get a bike. nevermind, i thought. then now tell me he wanna work part time & have no.2!

on the other hand, aunty zhu & meiyan have been saying that it's most probably because he doesn't know how hard it really was. since i didn't really grumble about money to him since i know he can't do anything, so save my breathe. but since aunty zhu said that, i write to him the list of stuff that need money. from gynae check up to delivery, to baby stuff that need to be prepared, FM, diapers and even jabs. hope all the money wakes him up!