darius is the reason why im still here

super duper emo for the past week for no special reason. the onli reason i can thought of is the endless calls i will receive at work and tat causes me to haf stress = emo

wad am i trying to do? trying to make him guilty so that he will come and look for me?! he's not responsible for why im emo, but yet i vent my anger on him.

i cant believe i had 10 sticks within the night! im dying.

pls pls, i dun wish for much. i jus wish that i can go thru it this time and no more neext time. can i? seeing the countless scars on my hand, i feel stupid.

im turning 22 in a few more months. darius is turning 4 months in a few more daes. and mum's anniversary in 3 more daes. i should b strong and i haf to b strong. else who will b there for darius?

im glad that ive aunty zhu wif me. she was the one who went thru the most painful time i haf during labour and durin this period. we alwaes quarrel and ignore each other. nw, we're both mothers. hope we wun b so childish animore and cherish each other. love her to bites (: