it's been almost 3.5yrs since we first met. and seperated for nearly 15months. i haf previously said that ive decided that it is better for us to b seperated when he is released. however i know, even if i dun feel the love ive for him nw, it doesn mean it dun exist. it's jus that bcos ive been hidding it al inside mi. deep inside me. so deep inside mi that i didnt even realised. and i know that when he's released, he wll create chaos in my heart. as the days go closer, i cant help but feel worried and anxious.

this coming saturday im bringing darius to open visit wif him. it's been a long long time. for more then 6months since he was sentenced, ive never seen him. and that was the first time i saw him again. in real life. thereafter, i onli see him via tele visit. and this coming saturdae, im gonna see him again, face to face. and, without any barrier this time.

and this few daes haf been feeling emotional. feeling empty, lonely and feel the love ive for him again. i hope i will pass over this phrase soon.