For those who are curious, I'm not attached. I'm still single. All of you are gonna ask wads going to happen to me and Johnny.

He'll come across this post when he's released. It's only few more days to the day he's released. He definitely am looking forward to that day. But truthfuly, I'm dreading it. I don't know wad to expect. Whenever I visit him I feel very awkward. We were once so close. Love each other so much. But now, everything is different.

Giving birth to Darius was my choice, never his. He have no say anyway. And I give birth to Darius because he's my child. Not because Johnny's blood run in him. Even if we have a child it doesn't mean that we have to get married or be together.

I told him I'll give him a chance. A chance to start afresh as fren. Whether or not we'll be able to proceed further it would depends on whether he's able to touch my heart with his actions, not words.

I'd been so crazy in love with him. He used to be my life. But everything change when I've Darius. I gotta think about him. He's the centre of my life.

I used to harbour hope about us. But everything changed few months ago. It's not cuz of this special guy in my heart. It's cuz of him. All along I treated him as my boyfriend, planning sbout our future. But later I realized we've got so much to overcome, to compromise, not forgetting the broken heart, the heart full of scar, I came to accept that we need to take time off and look at the the relationship once again. But still I kept thinking we'll b back together. Until the day I receive that letter.

In that letter he wrote, he's starting to think wad does the word 'father' mean. Wad is the responsibility of a father mean. How heavy is the responsibility of a 'father' means. Then it dawn on me that he've never really think about it before. That all along wad he promised are bull shit. Darius is about 8-9 months old then. And yet he then started to think just cuz he's going to release? I'm truly disappointed in him. No more hope. I give up.

Johnny, I hope that post gif u an idea why. But i've said I'll give u a chance and so I'll. But I hope no matter wad, don't come accussing me that I've had a change of heart if it doesn't work out. 18 months. And I hope u have learn your lesson

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