Everytime when we go out as a family with the maid in tow, the maid will always rush to be right beside Darius even when walking. Me and hubby will always stroll behind them and watching Darius walking and all his funny actions.

Sometimes I see other people looking at Darius & the maid then to me & hubby. It never fail to make me feel guilty. Like I am pushing my responsibility away, like I didn't care.

Darius is always my baby. Cuddle him in my arms. Everything had changed. I no longer work near home. I no longer finish work early. I can't spend as much time with him. I no longer cook for him. I no longer care about what he eats.

I want everything to be the same as before... I just want to be the one who put him to bed every night. Sleep next to him and answer to all his request in the middle of the night. I want to cook for him. Plan his meals. I want him to never grow up and stay with me forever. I want to spend all my time with him. Watch him grow up every seconds.

I'm not good enough...


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